Most people think narcissism is ego.
It’s often not.
It’s a fast protection against shame.
When feedback or challenge hits, the system reads it as threat
and moves to control, dominance, or defensiveness.
Not because someone wants to be difficult.
Because being “seen as not enough” feels unsafe.
So:
feedback feels like attack
disagreement feels like disrespect
and control feels like safety
Telling people to “just be self-aware” misses the point.
If regulation and self-worth aren’t stable,
awareness alone won’t hold under pressure.
I break this down in my latest video: https://psychevita.com/collection/14515
This isn’t about excusing behavior.
It’s about fixing what’s underneath it.